Inner Blocks to Thriving: Why Insight Alone Isn’t Always Enough

You can have all the insight in the world and still feel stuck.

You can understand your patterns, set better boundaries, practise self-care and yet something inside resists. A familiar emotional loop plays out again and again.

This isn’t failure. It’s human.

And it often points to something deeper: what I call inner blocks to thriving emotional or identity-level patterns that quietly shape how we think, feel, and respond.

What We Mean by Thriving

In psychology, thriving describes a state of growth beyond mere survival, where people don’t just cope but evolve. It’s about feeling alive, engaged, and purposeful, even when life or work presents a challenge.

Research by Gretchen Spreitzer and Christine Porath defines thriving as a combination of vitality, the sense of energy and aliveness, and learning, the feeling that you are developing and growing. When we experience both, we move beyond resilience into genuine flourishing.

But thriving isn’t simply about performing at a high level. It’s an integrated state where body, mind, and emotion are aligned. It draws on autonomy, connection, and meaning, the three core psychological needs identified in Deci and Ryan’s self-determination theory, underpinning motivation and wellbeing.

Thriving, then, is not a destination but a dynamic process. It’s the ability to stay connected to purpose, growth, and vitality, even amid uncertainty.

And yet, thriving often falters when our inner world becomes fragmented.

When parts of us are in conflict, when the logical mind says one thing while the emotional memory says another, we can’t access that full, coherent state. The body may still carry tension from past experiences, even as the mind insists we’ve “moved on.”

That inner dissonance shows up in subtle ways:

• Pushing through fatigue rather than listening to it.
• Overthinking decisions that once felt clear.
• Feeling flat or disconnected despite outward success.

In these moments, we’re surviving through effort rather than thriving through integration.

True thriving requires more than insight; it requires coherence, a synchrony between thought, emotion, and physiology. When that coherence is restored, we experience calm focus, clear thinking, and genuine engagement.

This is where coaching approaches that address both the cognitive and emotional systems, such as IEMT (Integrative Eye Movement Therapy)-informed coaching, can make a profound difference. They help bring those inner parts back into dialogue, so that thriving becomes less about striving for balance and more about embodying it.

The Limits of Insight

Many of the leaders and professionals I coach arrive with remarkable self-awareness. They have read the books, completed the workshops, and reflected deeply. They have a lot of insight.

Yet despite all that insight, the same patterns repeat.

Self-awareness arises from a distributed network rather than a single region, including areas involved in perspective-taking and in our sense of self. Emotional responses also draw on a network that integrates memory, attention and body signals. These systems learn at different speeds, which is why knowing and feeling do not always shift together, and why approaches that support emotional processing can help insight translate into real-world change.

So even when the conscious mind understands that “everything is fine,” the emotional brain may still be running an outdated programme of vigilance, self-protection or self-criticism.

This mismatch explains why you can tell yourself not to take something personally but still feel the sting, or why you can decide to switch off after work but still find yourself unable to relax. Your brain is not ignoring you; it is doing what it once learned to keep you safe.

Real change requires updating that emotional learning, not just talking about it.

This is why insight alone can stall: the conscious story has changed, but the system has not (yet).

When Reflection Becomes Rumination

Metacognitive awareness, the ability to observe our own thoughts, is a powerful tool in coaching psychology. It helps clients develop perspective and self-regulation. But when emotional processing lags behind, reflection can tip into rumination.

People replay situations, analyse endlessly, and search for the insight that will finally make it feel different. But without integrating the emotional system, the insight stays intellectual. This is often where frustration and self-blame begin.

Approaches that bridge cognition and emotion, such as IEMT, help close that gap, transforming reflection from thinking about change into feeling the change happen.

Understanding Inner Blocks

Inner blocks are learned, emotional, or identity-based patterns that once had a protective purpose but now hold us back. They’re not necessarily traumatic; they often form in ordinary moments when we internalise messages about safety, success, or belonging.

They might sound like:

• “I should be coping by now.”
• “If I don’t hold it all together, everything will fall apart.”
• “I know better, but I can’t stop feeling this way.”
• “I’m calm at work but fall apart at home.”

Each represents an emotional imprint, a piece of learned emotional memory that hasn’t yet been updated to reflect who we are now.

From a coaching psychology perspective, these imprints create incongruence: a gap between what we consciously know and what we emotionally feel capable of doing. That gap drains energy and makes thriving feel effortful.

Where Coaching Meets the Emotional Mind

Coaching psychology is a scientific, practitioner-based field that draws on evidence from across psychology to help people and organisations thrive. It brings together motivation and learning theory, emotion and regulation, cognitive and behavioural methods, identity and adult development, relational and systemic perspectives, and reflective practice. Behaviour change and goals are one strand of this broader field, alongside deepening awareness, meaning-making, strengthening relationships, and working with the wider system.

Within this wider frame, IEMT-informed coaching supports emotional processing in the here and now, so that reflective insights translate into lived change. Rather than analysing the past in detail, we work with how emotion shows up in the present and how the nervous system has learned to respond. Clients often report a tangible sense of relief or lightness. The emotional charge softens; the event or belief loses its grip.

IEMT-informed coaching is not for everyone, and it does not need to be. There are many effective ways to work with patterns, including reflective coaching, values-based behaviour change, compassion-based approaches, parts work, somatic practices, and mBraining or mBIT. The intention is always the same: to reduce emotional friction and expand choice, so you can lead with steadiness, clarity and authenticity.

From Reactivity to Regulation

Emotional reactivity is one of the most common expressions of inner blocks. It’s that moment when your nervous system responds before your mind has a chance to think. A tone of voice, a deadline, or a minor setback can suddenly feel much larger than it is.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s the body’s intelligent attempt to keep you safe, an echo of how your nervous system once learned to respond to challenge.

The Physiology of Regulation

Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, helps us understand this beautifully. It shows that our autonomic nervous system is not a simple on-off switch but a hierarchical system that continuously scans for cues of safety and danger.

At its foundation lies the dorsal vagal system, responsible for conservation and shutdown when we feel powerless or overwhelmed.

Above that sits the sympathetic system, which mobilises us for action, increasing alertness and readiness to meet a challenge.

At the top of the hierarchy is the ventral vagal system, which enables calm engagement, empathy and connection.

Rather than categorising our responses as simply fight, flight or freeze, Polyvagal Theory reminds us that we continually move between states depending on how safe we feel.

When our nervous system detects safety, the ventral vagal system allows us to stay grounded, think clearly and relate to others. The sympathetic system is not the enemy here; it provides healthy mobilisation, energising focus, drive, boundary setting and purposeful action. Difficulties arise when safety cues are absent or misread and sympathetic activation becomes chronic or edgy, or when the system drops into dorsal shutdown with exhaustion and disengagement. The aim is flexible movement across states, with ventral vagal connection guiding when to mobilise and when to rest.

If we have lived or worked in high-pressure environments, these protective responses can become our baseline. We may feel constantly “switched on” or emotionally flat, even when life appears to be going well. I often describe this as physiological burnout.

How IEMT Supports Regulation

Through IEMT-informed coaching, we help the nervous system update its understanding of safety.

The eye movement process activates sensory and emotional pathways that allow the body to recognise that the present is not the past. Clients often describe feeling softer in the body, clearer in the mind, or as if they can breathe more deeply again.

This isn’t about suppressing emotion. It’s about restoring access to the ventral vagal state, the zone where calm, connection, and clarity naturally arise.

As this capacity strengthens, so does the window of tolerance (Siegel, 1999), the range in which we can think and feel flexibly without becoming overwhelmed. Clients become less reactive, more centred, and more able to meet challenges with composure and confidence.

These physiological and emotional shifts create the foundation for deeper psychological work. Once the nervous system feels safe, we can explore not only how we respond but also who we believe ourselves to be.

The Identity Factor

Some inner blocks sit beneath emotion, anchored in who we think we are. These patterns form around the stories we tell ourselves, stories that once helped us succeed or feel like we belong, but now limit our freedom.

We might internalise beliefs such as:

• “I’m the one who keeps it all together.”
• “I’m the reliable one.”
• “I must always be strong.”

These identities often begin as strengths. They shape our leadership, our relationships, and our achievements. But over time, they can become rigid roles we don’t know how to step out of.

In coaching, I often hear clients say, “I don’t know who I’d be without this role.” That moment marks a quiet crossroads, the transition from protection to possibility.

Through IEMT, we can work with the emotional weight attached to those identities, releasing the fear, guilt, or over-responsibility that keeps them in place. The result isn’t losing who you are; it’s expanding who you can be.

You remain capable and strong, but now there’s space for rest, curiosity, and joy. This is the shift from surviving through identity to thriving through authenticity.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

These patterns don’t stop at the office door. They play out in leadership styles, team dynamics, and organisational culture.

A leader caught in a “holding it all together” identity may struggle to delegate or admit fatigue.

A professional in the “I should be coping” trap may push past early signs of burnout.

A team member replaying old emotional imprints may misinterpret feedback or avoid conflict.

When inner blocks remain unaddressed, they ripple through systems, affecting communication, decision-making, and wellbeing.

A Real-World Example

One client, let’s call her Sarah, was a senior manager known for her composure and reliability. She led high-stakes projects with calm precision but privately felt exhausted and detached.

In coaching, she recognised a lifelong identity loop: “I must be the steady one.” It had served her well, but now prevented her from asking for help.

Using IEMT-informed coaching, we worked with the emotional imprint linked to that belief. The result wasn’t dramatic in the moment, but a week later she said, “It’s strange I asked for support and didn’t feel guilty.”

That simple shift freed her to lead more authentically and model healthier behaviour for her team.

When leaders do this kind of inner work, it doesn’t just transform them; it transforms the cultures they shape.

Thriving leaders create thriving organisations.

Reclaiming Calm and Clarity

Thriving doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from reducing the internal resistance that makes everything feel heavy.

When emotional imprints are updated, clients often describe:

• A sense of inner quiet.
• Greater clarity in decision-making.
• A renewed connection to energy, purpose, and self-trust.

In essence, they stop managing themselves and start to be authentically present.

That shift from survival to thriving is what coaching psychology aims to enable.

And when integrated with IEMT, it becomes not just cognitive but embodied: a deeper reset that allows calm and clarity to feel natural rather than earned.

Pause and Reflect

Where do you notice friction between what you know and how you feel?

What might thriving look like if calm and clarity came more easily?

Take a few moments to notice, not to analyse, but to listen. Awareness begins the process of release.

If This Resonates

If you recognise yourself in these patterns, the awareness without ease, the effort without flow, it may be time to work at a deeper level.

I offer IEMT-informed coaching for leaders, professionals, and business owners who want to move beyond emotional stuckness and reconnect with their natural capacity to thrive.

Together, we’ll explore what sits beneath the surface, not to relive the past, but to release its hold on the present.